Move It or Lose It

I just turned 65. I am now officially a senior citizen – bring on the discounts, extended health care benefits (in my Province) and my Old Age Security cheque (coming in the new year).  I’ve taken pretty good care of myself over the past few decades (I want to enjoy my retirement). I am physically fit (or so my watch tells me), I have a plan – first exercise.

My favourite  motto is  – “Move it or Lose it.” With my exercise plan, it’s not how many kilometres I run or walk, it’s about getting out and moving every day, no matter what weather conditions. Last week we had a  -31C with the windchill snap, but as the Swedes say – “No bad weather, just bad clothing .” Every morning, I get up,  drink half a litre of lemon water and immediately head out the door for a run or walk.

Running is unique – I run to the conditions. If the paths are too snowy, or if it’s too cold, (-15C or more – running gear gets too bulky), I do a 3k walk (in any condition) and run later. I am very lucky because I can afford winter walking/hiking gear – fleece hoodie, puffer jacket, windproof shell, two layers of pants, light gloves inside mitts, toque and a buff for my neck and face. Walking gear for really freaking cold weather (I am good until -25). If it’s -5C to zero get out the shorts and flip flops (kidding). I follow my walk with a 6k run on the treadmill (another luxury, a gift from my daughter).

If I can run outside, it’s a very slow 7k to 10k (winter max). Winter is not the time to set speed records.  Last thing I need is a broken ankle (please see winter emergency rooms). One more item, I cannot hit the trail or path before 8am because it’s too dark out (the sun does not rise before 8:30 – mid winter). Double danger whammy – darkness and ice. The Swedes have another saying, if it’s too dark and cold, go to IKEA. Always sunny among the meatballs and Björn Borg shelves.

Now the best benefit with waking or running  outside are what I call morning bombs. Moving outside in the early morning sun, the radiance fills your bones like drops of sweet honey dew. As you move, you are literally elevated, your entire mood is lifted atop the mountains or clouds. I cannot think of a better mental health medicine than an early morning walk or run. Every Sunday I walk through the forest near my house (another lucky nugget) and feel the energy of nature buzzing in me bones. Even in -25, my bones are tingling. Face stings like a metal glove slap, but the bones are very happy.

Now here’s my weekly movement schedule:

Sun. Mon. Tues. Wed.  Thur. Fri. Sat.
5.5 k nature walk 7k outside run with weights 7k outside run 3k walk/6k dreadmill run with weights 7k outside run 3k walk/ 6k dreadmill run with weights Long run 8-10k

All weather permitting – see, ice, snow, cold and emergency room broken bones. And yes – three fifteen minute weight session each week to keep the upper body muscles strong and osteoporosis at bay (and looking nice in the mirror – vanity goes a long way at 65). And remember as King Julian says, “I like to move it,  move it.”  It is NEVER too late.

Alzheimer’s Aware

I listened to a great podcast (Dan Harris – Ten Percent Happier) yesterday on Alzheimer’s – my biggest scare. I can’t imagine having your life slip away into an empty sunny field where nothing is familiar. Everyone you know is gone. Now I don’t want to say a dark hole because you’re not dead. You are alive physically, just in an unknown world, on a new planet so to speak. You can see the flowers, the waving grass and the sunshine, but you don’t know the names of the people who pass you by. You feel the warm sun on your face, and it feels good, but where and with whom you have shared this experience is beyond your present grasp.

The guest, neuroscientist Lisa Genova, made the disease more human (she has many TED talks). And it’s good to know that only two percent of all cases of Alzheimer’s are genetic. The disease really comes down to lifestyle and the big three: sleep, diet and exercise.  She also calmed my fears. I can’t think how many times I’ve forgotten where I parked my car, but, according to the scientist, it’s not that you forget where you parked (everyone does), it’s when you can’t remember getting to the mall or what your car looks like (Phew!!).  She has many comforting suggestions. Write shit down.  Lists are fine and it’s OK to Google shit. Young folks do all the time, so why struggle. No one needs to power through forgetfulness. The stress is worse.

Now the lifestyle choices, first sleep. You need to get your seven to nine per night because when you get a good night’s rest it clears your brain of a chemical that erodes your hippocampus – the area where our memories reside. She also stated it’s OK to get up and pee in the night (can I have another Phew!); it doesn’t have to be completely uninterrupted sleep.  Even when I was twenty, I never got a complete sleep unless accompanied by too many beers or sixteen-hour waiter shifts.

The diet recommendation is, of course, the Mediterranean (for the umpteenth time) – lots of veggies and a reduced amount of red meat. I’m already on this, but I could use less red meat and more fish in my diet. I also need to watch the pasta, rice and potatoes –  refined carbs not a good idea.  Eat more whole grain.

The exercise suggestion is at least twenty minutes of moderate activity or fifteen minutes vigorous per day. Just go outside for less than half an hour and walk like you’re late for work and boom you’re done.

However, the brain needs work, so enhance this by learning something new; another important aspect of keeping the brain in tip top shape. Learn new things – it keeps the brain sharp and creates new pathways – rewire baby.  For example, try a new sport like cross country skiing or go for a run or walk in a new place. Today on my run, I made sure I took notice of new people I see on my run. Not a new place, but new people. She also suggests team sports, the socializing while on a court or rink helps the brain keep in shape.

Nothing prevents the disease one-hundred percent, but be aware or beware. Now  I gotta walk to the store as if chased by the coppers or a T-Rex. I need blueberries and plain yogourt.

More Information:

 

 

Spicy Harvest

Yep, crop gathering in the backyard.  Many herbs, peppers and fruit.  Now, it’s time to preserve my gems for the long cold winter. If leaves are falling, can snow be far behind?

The reason we had such a bumper crop this year is due to the massive rainfall we had in early summer. I’m not sure if it was a record, but we had almost double the normal amount for July. Then came our late warm summer – it’s nearly October and I’m still outside drinking my morning coffee in me skivvies  (the best undies on the planet). Just last week we had over plus twenty temperatures for the whole week. Whooohooo. Slap on the sunnies and lotion. The weather combination means an amazing autumn crop.

My herb crop was:  basil, oregano, thyme, rosemary, sage and parsley. I picked up sage late, just so I could say – parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme (check out the song). The first three, I dried over the summer months, filling two large jars. The rosemary is still happy in the garden, so have at ‘er. I had a massive amount of basil, so from pesto, to salads, to margarita pizza to caprese to whatever – it did not go to waste. I also froze some ice cube pesto for whenever. The kitchen smelt like a spice spa all summer. The dried sage is for the Thanksgiving turkey.

My peppers were also amazing – yellow banana, jalapeno, and habanero.  The yellow I just chopped up and put in salads as soon as they were ready. With the jalapenos, I made salsa and pickled them (along with the yellow). Now the habanero were an issue. I’m past the days when I would eat hot peppers whole just on a dare – me stomach and bottom half has burning issues.  Then I found this fantastic recipe for habanero sauce. Deliciosa! I watered it down a bit with a can of fire roasted tomatoes and removed some seeds. Not too spicy. I also had some leftover and yes you can freeze them – remove stems, air tight ziplock.

Now my final crop – apples. The tree only gives fruit every couple of years, so I’d hate to see them go to waste – although the critters love the fruit. However, I find them very bland to eat raw. The squirrels and birds must have a different palette. I have a ton and I don’t know what to do with them.  Apple sauce? Apple Cider? I can fortify the fruit with honey and make an excellent energy meal for my long runs or hikes or bikes. I’m sure the kiddies might like the sauce (or hooch) as well. I will need to test. Much honey. The youngins’ do not have rodent tastes.

Ok, gotta run and find out what to do with those apples. And in case you’re wondering because I was: Spicy poop. “Yes, spicy food can lead to soft poop or diarrhea because it contains capsaicin, which irritates the digestive tract and speeds up intestinal contractions. This can result in a quicker passage of food through the gut, often leading to loose stools. ” Who woulda known?

One final reminder – use gloves with the hot peppers. My nose is still burning as if I did a 10k barefoot walk on desert pavement.

 

East Slopes Disaster

'Morally and ethically wrong:' Court to hear challenge to Alberta coal ...

‘Morally and ethically wrong:’

I don’t know what’s going on in this crazy this province. I mean it has always leaned right of centre, but these days, the Alberta UCP government is run by ugly corporations and extreme right-wing radicals, and it’s unable (or is afraid to) to stand up to these morons.

One huge concern (among many others) is the destructive coal mining on the East Slopes of the Rocky Mountains near Tent Mountain. Our government doesn’t seem to realize (or is afraid to – common theme here) the catastrophic environmental issues around leaching toxins into rivers and lakes. But this is what happens when you have an entitled government and no opposition. They don’t listen to anyone, except those who scream the loudest, even though the yellers are a minority.

Coal mining is destroying waterways by pouring Selenium into both Crowsnest Creek and East Crowsnest Creek to the point where trout are now extinct. Tests showed concentrations of Selenium were 151 micrograms per litre. The provincial limit is 2 while the federal maximum is 1. I find it hard to believe Environment Alberta (Rebecca Schultz, minister) doesn’t have this information, demanding immediate action.

Nearly 70% of people in the province disagree with mining in the Crowsnest Pass except those who live there, but the issue is larger than the four hundred jobs promised (where have I heard this before) for the six thousand residents nestled in the Canadian Rockies, a small minority in a province of 5 million. Water flows, effecting many more downstream, including Indigenous peoples – they have enough clean water issues. And what about the four-legged creatures, drinking from these once pristine waterways? My precious Alberta beef!

And to have an Australian asshole (Peter Doyle, CEO of Montem Resources,) come to this country and bully the government into changing environmental policy is a joke. This idiot threatened to sue the entire Alberta Energy  Regulator (and the UCP government) over this issue. How can we sit here and get bullied by some freaking offshore idiot.  His demonic corporation will mine the coal and export it to Asia. What other environmental issues occur when China or India burn coal – holy global warming Batman.

The UCP government is also running scared because they know any division in their “base” means they will lose power. Their management is not about any environmental concerns. It’s about losing power, so if corporations (their base along with squawking radicals) start rattling the cage, they’d better cave in like a cheap coal mine or lose support. And right now, they need all the support they can muster.  People are angry.

It says something about a government bullied by offshore thugs meanwhile it bitches about manipulation by the Federal government. Maybe the UCP should come up with a separatist act against foreign interference.  Dani Smith needs to realize her government works for the people of Alberta, not the other way around. And with cave-ins like this, she’ll need a new job peeling shrimp in Australia.

For more information and to lend a helping hand, try these.

Save our Slopes

CPAWS

And an excellent article from my new favourite on-line news source The Tyee out of Vancouver  – Inside an Australian Miner’s Brawl with Alberta Regulators

 

James by Percival Everett

'James' Author Percival Everett on Freedom, Violence, and the Lure of ...Ok, what am I reading right now?  I wanted to explore humorous novels, after all summer is near, so chillin’ in the hammock with some chuckles, ideal. Let’s start with the ever unreliable – “Hey Siri, what are the funniest books ever written.”  She gave me a list with “James “by Percival Everett on, but WTF – slavery is not funny. You’re fired Apple Irish voice. However, I’m glad James popped up because it’s a great read and it brought back many education journey memories.

The novel is based on “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” written in 1884 by Mark Twain, the ex-river boat pilot. However, the new version is written from James’ (the new Jim) perspective. Both follow his escape from Miss Watson because she is about to sell him down the river. Literally, to New Orleans. They must escape and make some money to buy freedom for their family and move to Illinois, a free state.

“James,” the re-creation, is amazing. His vocabulary when speaking with other slaves is right out of Oxford (not the Faulkner home), but when talking to white folk, he plays slave – “Mos’ peoples likes money mo’ ’n anythin’ else. White folks, anyways”.  He’s also a proficient reader, writer and teacher. And why not? Who’s to say he couldn’t.  I love this take.

The  first escape  is to Jackson’s Island where he meets up with Huck.  The boy fakes his death to escape the violence from his drunk and abusive father, Pap Finn, just like in the original. From here Jim and Huck make a raft and head up the river to freedom in the north. While travelling, James pens intriguing passages about his situation, until he loses his pencil.

Both novels take place in Southern antebellum society before the civil war, giving an accurate and terrifying portrait of slave life in the United States.  However, the lynching scene differs. In “James” it takes place over a stolen pencil and it’s an accused slave who is murdered by a gang of white assholes.  However, in Twain’s novel, Colonel Sherburn, a white dude and a wealthy shop owner, challenges and calls out the mob gathered to lynch him after he shoots town drunk Boggs.  When I first read “Huckleberry Finn,” this scene had me in tears of anger.

I also loved Norman – the light skinned companion who passes as a white dude (not in the original – even Twain could’ve imagined this situation). The ending of the novels is slightly different.  In the original Jim is freed by Miss Watson but loses it to help Tom Sawyer (a prick), after he’s shot, but finally his freedom is secured. Huck then “lights out for the Territory.”  Whereas in “James,” we have fireworks, but hope (not too much spoiler here).

I read the Twain novel just as I started my university journey. My first English class was  American Literature with Gary Frame, the best teacher I ever had. I always felt sorry that poor guy because he put up with an overly zealous student who waited outside his door almost every day to ask questions. I’m sure as he walked back to his office, saw me he said, “Oh shit not again.” He surely wanted to light out for the Territory.

I loved “James” and I’m sure if Gary Frame were still teaching, the novel would be on his syllabus. I remember almost every book I read in that class.  Ok, time to re-read “Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch,” but no recreation here.

Vancouver Walk and Eat – 2025

So many things to like about Vancouver (unless you need to buy a house) – the transportation, the food and the ability to walk everywhere. Let’s get to them all.

First the transportation. Before I left, I registered my Compass Card (leftover from my last visit) and added some funds. Note: when you leave the airport, just tap the card. I bought a ticket from the machine with my card – 9.85. On the way back I tapped in from downtown and airport out – cost 3.85, the two zone fare (not totally sure why). Get the transit card, so convenient for all your travels. And if you need a car, check out EVO – they are everywhere.  However, we also walked, walked and walked (over 38k steps one day – a new personal record) in the pouring rain. Yea to the Gortex shoes and jacket.

Next the food. Oh my goodness, so good. Our first meal was in Gastown at GUU, just down from Waterfront station. We started with the Takowasa – marinated octopus and wasabi – served w/ 6 pieces of roasted seaweed – a very small portion but the wasabi didn’t peel the insides of my nostrils so that’s good. Next, we had the Salmon With Seven Friends – diced wild sockeye salmon w/ natto (fermented soy beans), pickled cucumber, pickled daikon, garlic chips, crispy wonton, green onion, fresh egg yolk, “otokomae” and roasted seaweed.  Just mix and wrap in seaweed strips, yummy. We finished with Grilled Salmon Bento Box with a daily side dish, rice, and miso soup. We ordered an extra miso so we wouldn’t start throwing punches. The grilled salmon was huge and coming from the prairies I need all the salmon I can get. With tip, we walked out paying a reasonable 50 bucks for two people. Gotta love the price.

We were going to see a movie, so a quick stop in Chinatown and Bao Bei.  We arrived a little early and it was already lined up. Luckily, we were number one (stink-eyeing any line butting persons), rewarded with a nice high top near the door (twenty minutes later, the place was packed). We started with the Bean Curd – amazing. Then on to the Beef Tartre – more amazing – then the Kick Ass Fried Rice, Steamed Prawn, Scallop and Chive Dumplings all amazing, amazing. We didn’t try any of the cocktails (sober trip), but we were close to the bar, and they looked fun. Ok, I’ve used the “amazing” adjective a lot, but it was. All in for two of us – 165. A bit pricey but well worth the experience.

Ok, it’s Vancouver and one must do sushi. I live on the prairies where fresh seafood is about as common as a Liberal vote. We went to a Yaletown spot called Oshi Nori . A small cozy spot with only a sushi bar. We had Truffle Edamame (I’ll eat anything with truffle) and all the Toro and Salmon Nigiri on the menu . We also sampled the 5 Roll Basic Set (served taco style – wrapped in seaweed). A nasty scene as we wrestled for the last piece (even numbers, please).  125, for two hungry lads. Pricey, but a very happy tummy indeed.

The biggest food trip take away –  from my house on the other side of the Rockies, I was in  downtown Vancouver eating sushi in two and a half hours. Mind boggling. I’m already planning my next walk ‘n eat  journey with my amazing travelling companion who has an excellent nose where to go.

Table Manners

I’m waiting for an old friend, a tall skinny dude with short cropped grey hair and a long-drawn-out face like a tragedy mask pulled down from the chin.  I am sitting in a restaurant – a corner hole in the wall, shaped like a piece of cake with white fifties Formica counter tops running the length. The chairs are bolted to the floor cushioned with red puffy faux leather. They squeak when  swivel. I wait.  I never know if he’ll show. Is he worth the wait?

 Finally, he walks into the slice of time, swaying with slumping shoulders, wearing a long dark wool coat hanging down to his knees.  He falls beside me. I say you should really give me your phone number so I can call you and arrange meetings rather than this wait and hope game we play.  I get tired. He shrugs. Puts his head down. I didn’t mean to scold?  He’s a past I need. A measure to know how far I’ve come.

We sit at the counter. More coffee, please. I say, do you wanna go skiing?  Friday night?  Only problem, many drunk kids on the hill, I add. He says, he doesn’t drink.  I say the town is very busy on weekends. Accommodation short. He says he knows a guy. I nod. He shrugs.  He says, he has a meeting.  Do I want to join? Sure, I’ve got nothing better to do. We put the slippery hill on hold.

We go to another restaurant.  Green and pink neon swirling letters with no organization.  We move to a round half circle booth, made for twelve. Only four shows. Slick brown faux leather this time. What is the arrangement, I think. On the reclaimed wood table, stand glasses half full with melting cubes. Wet circles in no pattern. I strain to  understand. Sounds like baby gaga.  Naiveté? They laugh. Heads bobble. Facial wrinkles. Crows slash faces.

They are eating something bloody, red puddles on plates.  One show, Sherry or Shirley, points to a raw picture with a long shiny nail. I say wow that’s too much. I don’t eat red meat. She rubs her belly and smiles.  I return a grin and order, but it’s only half. Did I misunderstand?   Still too much. They keep talking. I only listen. They continue to laugh.

I want to join, eager to make friends. I mimic their noises. Conversation dies. The table loses energy. I hear ice reforming into blocks. A grey tattered face, stands and says that’s not funny. I finally understand. Shirley or Sherry says she’ll pay for the show. The table evaporates like rings on the table.

I put my head down. Hard fluorescent gum under the table. When I look up, the group is gone.  What did I say? I stopped the laughter.  I killed the language. I walk out, staring at my shoe tops. My past deserts me. Solo skiing isn’t fun, but he knows a guy.

A Letter to America

Maybe it’s time for a little reminder, America before you march cross the 49th parallel. I’ll say one thing for trump, he’s brought this country together like never before. Even the Quebecois are championing Canada.  Do you know how hard that is? We’ve  been trying to get the French onboard for 157 years. Here’s a a little reminder from Margaret Atwood, a Canadian treasure.

Dear America: This is a difficult letter to write, because I’m no longer sure who you are. Some of you may be having the same trouble. I thought I knew you: We’d become well acquainted over the past 55 years. You were the Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck comic books I read in the late 1940s. You were the radio shows — Jack Benny, Our Miss Brooks.You were the music I sang and danced to: the Andrews Sisters, Ella Fitzgerald, the Platters, Elvis. You were a ton of fun.

You wrote some of my favourite books. You created Huckleberry Finn, and Hawkeye, and Beth and Jo in Little Women, courageous in their different ways. Later, you were my beloved Thoreau, father of environmentalism, witness to individual conscience; and Walt Whitman, singer of the great Republic; and Emily Dickinson, keeper of the private soul. You were Hammett and Chandler, heroic walkers of mean streets; even later, you were the amazing trio, Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and Faulkner, who traced the dark labyrinths of your hidden heart. You were Sinclair Lewis and Arthur Miller, who, with their own American idealism, went after the sham in you, because they thought you could do better. You were Marlon Brando in On The Waterfront, you were Humphrey Bogart in Key Largo, you were Lillian Gish in Night of the Hunter. You stood up for freedom, honesty and justice; you protected the innocent. I believed most of that. I think you did, too. It seemed true at the time.

You put God on the money, though, even then. You had a way of thinking that the things of Caesar were the same as the things of God: that gave you self-confidence. You have always wanted to be a city upon a hill, a light to all nations, and for a while you were. Give me your tired, your poor, you sang, and for a while you meant it. We’ve always been close, you and us. History, that old entangler, has twisted us together since the early 17th century. Some of us used to be you; some of us want to be you; some of you used to be us. You are not only our neighbours: In many cases — mine, for instance — you are also our blood relations, our colleagues, and our personal friends. But although we’ve had a ringside seat, we’ve never understood you completely, up here north of the 49th parallel.

We’re like Romanized Gauls — look like Romans, dress like Romans, but aren’t Romans —  peering over the wall at the real Romans. What are they doing? Why? What are they doing now? Why is the haruspex eyeballing the sheep’s liver? Why is the soothsayer wholesaling the Bewares?

Perhaps that’s been my difficulty in writing you this letter: I’m not sure I know what’s really going on. Anyway, you have a huge posse of experienced entrail-sifters who do nothing but analyze your every vein and lobe. What can I tell you about yourself that you don’t already know?

This might be the reason for my hesitation: embarrassment, brought on by a becoming modesty. But it is more likely to be embarrassment of another sort. When my grandmother — from a New England background — was confronted with an unsavoury topic, she would change the subject and gaze out the window. And that is my own inclination: Mind your own business.

But I’ll take the plunge, because your business is no longer merely your business. To paraphrase Marley’s Ghost, who figured it out too late, mankind is your business. And vice versa: When the Jolly Green Giant goes on the rampage, many lesser plants and animals get trampled underfoot. As for us, you’re our biggest trading partner: We know perfectly well that if you go down the plug-hole, we’re going with you. We have every reason to wish you well.

You’re gutting the Constitution. Already your home can be entered without your knowledge or permission, you can be snatched away and incarcerated without cause, your mail can be spied on, your private records searched. Why isn’t this a recipe for widespread business theft, political intimidation, and fraud? I know you’ve been told all this is for your own safety and protection, but think about it for a minute. Anyway, when did you get so scared? You didn’t used to be easily frightened.

You’re running up a record level of debt. Keep spending at this rate and pretty soon you won’t be able to afford any big military adventures. Either that or you’ll go the way of the USSR: lots of tanks, but no air conditioning. That will make folks very cross. They’ll be even crosser when they can’t take a shower because your short-sighted bulldozing of environmental protections has dirtied most of the water and dried up the rest. Then things will get hot and dirty indeed.

You’re torching the American economy. How soon before the answer to that will be, not to produce anything yourselves, but to grab stuff other people produce, at gunboat-diplomacy prices? Is the world going to consist of a few megarich King Midases, with the rest being serfs, both inside and outside your country? Will the biggest business sector in the United States be the prison system? Let’s hope not.

If you proceed much further down the slippery slope, people around the world will stop admiring the good things about you. They’ll decide that your city upon the hill is a slum and your democracy is a sham, and therefore you have no business trying to impose your sullied vision on them. They’ll think you’ve abandoned the rule of law. They’ll think you’ve fouled your own nest.

The British used to have a myth about King Arthur. He wasn’t dead, but sleeping in a cave, it was said; in the country’s hour of greatest peril, he would return. You, too, have great spirits of the past you may call upon: men and women of courage, of conscience, of prescience. Summon them now, to stand with you, to inspire you, to defend the best in you. You need them.

The letter was posted in The Globe and Mail on, 28 March 2003.  The letter was penned while  George W Bush as president. Man he looks good now, eh? I removed the paragraph about the Iraqi war, but we’re in another war, n’est-ce pas?

Canmore Walk and Eat

Ok, so we left early afternoon and walked into town with happy hour feet. First, Murietta’s, our one-time favourite spot.  However – rejection. The happy hour beer was flat and dull with an equal nastiness for the three-dip appetizer we ordered.  The intention was pita bread, but it was nothing more than a limp mass of dough. Our pleasant server brought a glass of Rose, but how long was it sitting on the shelf?  Roman times? They did bring another glass of wine not on the happy hour menu and only charged the happy hour price. And the view? Our whole intention of going to the place. Clean the streaking, dirty windows please. I was afraid of this. Ruined. The place has gone downhill. However, we will always have the first time we went there (cost 24 bucks).

After major disappointment, we went to The Wood at the end of Main Street. While it doesn’t have Murietta’s gorgeous view, it still offers great mountain scenery. We had a Sheep Dog IPA (local and very tasty) and a Riesling. We also shared the enjoyable Tuna Stack – avocado, mango, tuna, sprouts, cilantro, and deep-fried wonton for spreading (cost 46 bucks).

Then we walked down to the Malcom Hotel and went for a drink at the Stirling (nice digs – lots of wood and very shiny new). Half price wine Wednesday. Ok, me likey this. We ordered a Chablis off the featured wine list (only half price from here), but they ran out. The accommodating manager said, order anything we’ll do half price. Ok, another bottle of yummy Chablis. I should’ve tasted the food, but I wasn’t all that hungry after the earlier beer and food. We will come back for the Wednesday wine (cost-54 bucks).

The night before we went out for dinner to a place literally across the street from our condo – Bridgette bar. I had a couple of “Blindman” porters (and a local charming cider – Marty McDry). Not too shabby for a beer near Deadmonton (Lacombe). We shared some eggplant fries (very good) and the salami pizza. I loved the crust – firewood oven baked with an amazing  drizzle of honey. The meat not so – a bit greasy (but I gotta say I’m not one for meat on my pizza).  I also had the Roasted Octopus salad. Not what I expected – the mollusk swimming (literally) in a very vinegary laden dressing with thinly sliced cucumber on top. I wouldn’t order again. I would, however, love to try the elk carpaccio. And the place was hopping for a Tuesday night. Good libations and I’d love to go back and try other items off a very interesting menu (cost – 97 bucks).

All in all, the total cost of an excellent night out, just walking around and doing happy hours – 125 bucks.  Another hundred bucks the night before. Not too shabby for two nights out. Another motive for our stay was – can I park my car and just walk? The answer an emphatic yes. The car didn’t move for two days. We got up and went for some very nice walks around town with the Three Sisters forever in our sight. A new haunt, for sure.

Government Man

Free Images : aircraft, army, vehicle, aviation, fire, explosion, war, dramatic, chopper ...Not much happening today, but last night I was at home lounging, when I heard a very loud noise above me.  My foundations started rocking like crêpe paper in a hurricane. The world is ending right now. The windows rattled and popped as if a tornado were ripping through town. The sound thunderous as a large machine dropped into my space.  I ran to the boom and inspected my front yard. The view easy because our picture window gone. A petrol breeze flew through the portal.  I put my hand to mouth and gasped for air.

A large military helicopter crashed into our once manicured green space. The cadet grey blades were still moving, digging a large ditch into the earth metres from what was moments ago, my front window. The rotors stopped. I had no front yard – my planted daisies and roses now mulch.  The front of my house was nothing more than a giant gap in the universe. All that was left was space.  I was thankful for my crêpe soled shoes because shattered glass littered the living room carpet like tiny diamonds scattered on a jeweller’s felt.

I was still in shock when a man jumped through the open window. He wore a dark pin-striped suit with sock inserted sandals. He gripped a metallic clipboard in his hands as though swaddling a baby. He plucked his lanyard from under the suit and flipped it in my face. I saw a golden government logo. No name. No department. Just a smiling government man with a fake tan. He could’ve been from the ministry of pills and elixirs for all I knew. The flash brief. He put the credentials back with such quick movement I thought his side hustle was a card shark or fake billionaire. Don’t worry sir, the government is in control. We’ve got you covered. I rolled my eyes. Trust was not coming.

Two other men quickly darted from behind the government man and within two minutes they removed the entire front of my house. Studs and debris removed. A clean cut. Clipboard man made notes and then jumped through the open gap and examined the broken whirly bird. He didn’t take long. He jumped up into my living room with a metal chunk in his grip. It looked like the lock mechanism for a door – where the bolt slides into. He thrust it in my face.  I squinted. Here’s the problem, said the official. Not standard issue. He jumped through the broken window, giggling like a teenager who knows they got away with murder.

He spoke reassuring words a month ago. Compensation in hand. I wait. I sit in my living room in a lawn chair waving to the awe-struck people who walk by. I lounge here twenty-four seven for security reasons, wrapped in a mummy style sleeping bag, zipped to the hilt. I am my own reward.